Still processing what I learned last week, and still kinda focused on teaching. There was a really interesting bit on the last day about mediator styles. The lecturer identified 3 main styles. First, there is the Personality style, where the mediator relies on their personality, ability to build rapport and social skills to gain the level of client trust required to do the mediation. There is also the Skill or Expert style, where the mediator relies on demonstrated expertise in the conflict area (e.g. industrial relations or family lawyer) to gain the level of trust required. Finally, there is the Controller style, where the mediator

• MissSin said on 06/10/04 at 07:03 PM.....

  you’ve done it again…you’ve got me thinking about what i do…

  
  one thing i have realised in the past couple of years is that i am never the only teacher in the room.

  
  the students have so much to give each other too - so i think there are other relationships going on in the room other than just the teacher-student one.

  
  i really believe that acceptance is really important - i know this sounds really obvious but i don’t mean just the obvious way (though of course that’s important)

  
  what i mean is that i accept my own limitations.  and i also accept when i am wrong, which does happen. the teacher isn’t some kind fo god - and i think students appreciate it more when they see the teacher get something wrong & they can poin that out.

  i guess it is that ‘trust thing’.  i trust my students with my weaknesses as they trust me with theirs.

  
  wow…this random thought ended up way more intense than i was intending it to be.

  
  i guess the reason is that everything is really fresh at the moment - i am currently in day 3 of a 10 day intensive.  I’ve successfully set the class up, and they are now beginning to make jokes.  when they start doing that, i know something is going well…and the fact that they said ‘i was really nervous on the first day, but now i am enjoying this class & english’

   

  bear in mind we are doing 8 hours of study everyday AND they have 2 hours of homework at night - but they still like me…

  
  i think that shows some kind of trust.

  
  damn - didn’t mean to right so much…

  
  look what you’ve done to me, j-ster! i am analysing myself in a way i’ve never really done before…it’s a bit scary if you ask me…

   

• Sar said on 06/10/04 at 10:07 PM.....

  Great Post!  Thanks for sharing those insights.

• arumanda said on 06/10/04 at 11:01 PM.....

  hm, i guess i’ve always thought of teaching as about trust. if you don’t gain the student’s trust, they become afraid to make mistakes and experiment with what you’re trying to have them understand. i think that learning is all about making mistakes and building up the confidence to make them.

  
  it’s interesting to hear the same theories applied to mediation. i find what you’re studying, very interesting.

• j-ster said on 06/10/04 at 11:15 PM.....

  MissSin: you are so right about the “not the only teacher in the room” thing! I noticed as soon as my lecturer, on the very first morning, did this little, “Hmmm, im not sure, does anyone know?” and it just gave power and permission to the whole class. We ran with it, he didnt need to do it again for the rest of the week. Thats one really important aspect of power-sharing. If you are the Expert-style teacher then i guess there are other techniques to use, but i cant think of one at the moment… Im thinking about this a lot in terms of the teacher training and observations i did, where I got no training in it, and i was working on instinct the whole time. Now i finally have words for those instincts.

  
  10 day intensive, wow, heavy going… I know how you feel with the joking thing tho, it feels like you won something, or completed a certain important section of the task. Its like you completed a level of Donkey Kong or something.

  Sar and Arumanda: thank you! Im glad you find it interesting. I keep thinking i should go back to the less theoretical type posts, but I have essays to write at the moment, so i this is the perfect close-but-not-quite displacement activity…

   

• Sar said on 06/10/05 at 12:07 PM.....

  Don’t stop - it’s really interesting and also really really helpful.  The balance between teacher-learner is so important and this post really got me thinking.  It’s easy to become stale, jaded, overconfident, blase or demoralised when teaching and striking the balance, and being reminded that there is a balance to find is good.  Like yourself, I am suspicious of other people’s theories - ‘expert theories’ if you like, however, they do serve the purpose of being a base from which to develop one’s own ideas.  And I like your idea of the triangle.  And where you want to be within that triangle.  Not only that, but learners like teachers to be in certain places in that triangle.  And we, as teachers have to find the balance between where we want to be and where our learners and indeed clients need us to be.  Human relationships are pretty much like this too right? mmm see what you’ve started!

• j-ster said on 06/10/05 at 02:18 PM.....

  Absolutely right. You cant just say ‘this is the way I do it’, you have to be able to recognise what the students want and will respond to, and find some middle ground in there. This is all so common sense, and at the same time, as i unpack it more and more, i realise how incredibly complex and intuitive it is!!!

  
  Part of the reason why im so focused on this at the moment (and thank you all for your encouragement) is because Im at a far enough distance to be able to see it differently to when i was in it, and also because I see teaching people to handle disputes better as being part of a mediator’s job. So in that context, learning as much as i can about teaching is important. The last 9 years have been a really valuable experience i can mine for heaps of useful stuff.

• MissSin said on 06/10/05 at 04:39 PM.....

  all day i have been thinking about the expert-style teacher.

  
  and i realised that i do do it at times.  when students ask me which is the best way to say something, i will refer to to my own experiences as a native speaker, and what i would say in that situation.  the students defer to my opinion, because in the group (ie students and me) i AM the expert english speaker.

  or when i am teaching grammar - i have to have full confidence in what i am teaching (not that you’d know it from my sloppy grammar here…) & how i am teaching it otherwise they won’t believe me.

  
  but, yeah, there are times when i do the expert thing.

  
  so, am i doing all sides of the triangle?  guess i kind of am…wow…

   

• j-ster said on 06/10/05 at 11:23 PM.....

  Expert is the whole basis of your Specialist in Humanities visa baby! (Tho im not at all sure thats the visa you hold…)

  Tho we shift around in the triangle, we probably have a corner thats stronger than the others. I was definitely a personality teacher, and i will be a personality mediator too when it happens. I have seen teachers with no personality who still worked effectively between expert and controller, and their students were happy enough, tho the observation sucked me as dry as a Skeksis would a Gelfling. I have also observed teachers who had nothing but personality to go on, and that was almost as bad, and the stuents didnt like that much. Ive seen a couple of teachers who were strong in all three areas, and what a difference it makes!

  
  I reckon, in a 10 day intensive you would need to be able to cover all sides. Personality would be strong at the start, to get the rapport, and then expertise and structure would carry you thru, with personality coming in like sugar hits to keep motivation up. I dont know if you could do it without all three.

  
  However, within this model, where do the skills learned in the TESOL/TEFL course that Ms. Franjipani recently finished fit in? All those teaching skills, techniques and tricks, do they come under the expert or control label? Or something else? Cos I think i need some of those too to effectively help my clients learn better communication/fighting skills during the mediation. and im sure its possible to incorporate them… im sure of it.