There are so many homeless people in this city. I recognise many of them that hang out in the parts of the stations that i use. I know which ones I have to hold my breath for when i walk past.

Once, in the Shinjuku Promenade, an underground street that connects the station with Ni-chome - very convenient for those rainy friday evening beer-blasts at Advocates, and my regular beat to work - i saw one of these guys taking a dump. Actually I smelled it first, and then i saw station guys running from all directions, and then i saw him actually mid-dump, and what a prodigious dump it was. He had thoughtfully laid out newspaper to catch it all, but the funny thing was he did it opposite the public toilets. Close, mate, but no banana. The station guys, well they came from all directions but werent able to actually do anything once they got to him; i dont know if they didnt want to interrupt or if the smell created a forcefield around him or what, but they got to him and then kinda stood around helpless, totally unsure what to do next. I guess its pretty rude to interrupt someone mid-dump…

I realised it was the first time in my life i had actually seen someone… gentle reader, I dont know how else to phrase it… taking a dump. The smell persisted for a good hundred metres in either direction, i know because i ran out of oxygen. He seemed delighted by all the attention…

I saw him again today, grinning cheekily, sitting on the steps leading to the Odakyu store, and once again the paper detail caught my eye. Polite people generally put something between themselves and the ground when they sit on it, and he had a piece of cardboard there on the step. I thought it was funny because im quite sure that the cardboard is doing a better job of protecting the step from him than the other way around… or maybe it just keeps his bum warm? I dont know. One thing is for sure, he certainly has manners.

I love Japanese politeness.

• Meenoo said on 05/03/04 at 08:10 AM.....

  Hmm, beer blasts at Advocates, had a few of those^^

• indigo girl said on 05/03/04 at 11:04 AM.....

  Oh my! Its funny but I also saw my first dump here in Japan! It was also a homeless chap in Yotsuya! I didnt know where to look as he tried to squeeze it out! Most strange! A society with so much face and we both see our first real live pooh!

• T said on 05/03/04 at 04:40 PM.....

  I wonder if his bum was cold by being exposed to the air like that?

• j-ster said on 05/03/06 at 04:01 PM.....

  Meenoo, when you coming back for more??? Soon i hope!

• ian mac said on 05/03/10 at 03:41 PM.....

  Jo you nut, that story of the poor dumper tickled me totally !! laughed ? i nearly shat myself !!