Do teachers see the students they drive away? I think I’m pretty good with rapport (I just dont always waant to do it), and when rapport is my intention with new students I’m 100% charming, but I have driven students away with my mistakes and my attitude. Easily 5% over 9 years, and likely more in those early years. Here are some of the students I drove away.

One young girl, extremely intelligent, I completely won her over to feminism one day, and never saw her again.  Several shy young gentlemen I flirted with just a little too much and never saw again. Several older gentlemen I absolutely always refused to submit to, and never saw again. Many students I corrected too strongly and never saw again. Many times an activity failed for whatever reason and one or two of the students never came again. Many times I tried to prise that oyster shell of shyness open too early and they never came back. Several students were not able to make the kind of eye contact I insisted upon, and they never came back. And many more.

Geez, and I think I’m one of the good teachers! And just to make it clear, I’m not thinking about blame here, I’m thinking about response-ability.

• sighmon said on 06/09/24 at 11:42 PM.....

  sounds to me like you’re one of the few inspiring teachers left out there, because all of those things you did to drive students away sounds like things i’d love to have been told to do back in school.

  i still remember the first teacher that inspired me to learn.  she was my year 11 maths 2 teacher, mrs.D.  i had a serious crush on her, and always tried to look extra scruffy after lunch for her class.. because quite obviously that’s what teachers like right.. scruffy boys.. sigh, it’s now painfully obvious why i have so many problems communicating with women.

  
  smiles,

  
  sigh.

   

• Steve said on 06/09/25 at 08:35 PM.....

  You need to connect with a person to truly learn from them, had these people stayed they most likely would have not learnt a lot anyway, hopefully they find a teacher to connect with.

  I see so many people at uni who just ooze “I don’t want to be here, but where else can I be”.

  
  The world needs more great teachers, it already has too many students needing to be taught.

   

• Sar said on 06/09/26 at 12:04 AM.....

  You cared and people are fickle and proud.  In contact with humans, there has to be some natural wastage and 5 percent over 9 years is pretty good - we can’t like everyone right?  I drove one student away by saying I didn’t like baseball.  Prior to that she was a okay and we were great.  Then - disappearing act.  Frankly I find it childish.  I lack tolerance and allow PCness to subside in order to have that opinion.  In saying that I left my Japanese lessons.  Because I thought they were rubbish and not because I got the hump with them.  As teachers we invest an awful lot in our students - time, energy, mental energy, physical energy, you cannot just turn off in front of you PC and have a little snooze, you have to be 100 percent ‘ON’ at all times.  And it hurts and you reflect on it after people F off for unexplained reasons.  But rationally you think ‘Shoganei ne’.  Today I was with my 62 year old student talking about cities.  He said he felt unsafe in Geneva.  I said why?  He said because there were a lot of Arabs and he thought it was a security problem.  I know I shouldn’t have - but I went on - I said ‘Why?’ AGAIN.  With a curious look on my face.  After an awkward pause he said ‘Paris is very beautiful.’  He did however arrange our next lesson…

• Jen said on 06/09/26 at 07:56 PM.....

  Good lord. Tell me about it! I’m sure you can imagine, the setting is probably the same ^_~

  
  Ki o tsukete

• j-ster said on 06/10/03 at 03:03 PM.....

  Sighmon; scruffy is wonderful. Scruffy young boys, mmmm…. I told the scheduling staff at my company that i didnt want to teach high school boys (16-18) because I thought it would be too dangerous. Fortunately the scheduling staff didnt understand what i meant by ‘dangerous’ in this context.

  
  Steve; I assume (hope!) you are talking about the students and not the lecturers. How much were you like that at that age tho? I sure was. I had no understanding of how valuable things were when i was that age. Fortunately, kids grow up…

  Sarah; its true that we cant like everyone, nor can we expect everyone to like us. And those students who left because of that are not included in that 5%. I just want to be able to pin-point the moment where i have the opportunity to do something different. And to do that, i have to be able to see what im doing in the moment, which means i have to be honest about it. You are honest about it!!!

  
  Jen; heh, i can still picture those walls and the smell of the classrooms! Im still sorry i didnt leave you with more to work with…